i have so many thoughts in my mind and so many things i want to say, but i just don’t know how. i have never ever been good with words. i actually never can express anything i want to say. in my head everything seems so clear and so right, but when i open my mouth or even try to write it, its like W#$%THASBBVBSAU^@^TRFGJSSBVVMBSKVUG.. seriously..

i’ve been looking for a job.. and i’m always feeling hopeless. it’s so weird how much i feel like i’ve changed. i used to be the girl who ALWAYS was positive 100% of the time, smiles, everything… people are always telling me to keep my head up, everything will be okay, blah blah all that stuff and frankly i don’t want to hear it anymore. i want everyone to move 1,200 miles away from everything that felt “normal” and “right” to you. it’s hard. i’m lost. and the only person i have here is phil, and hes not always around :( every day i feel like i take one step forward, i just take 2 steps back…

I can do all this through him who gives me strength. Philippians 4:13